Drugs are bad, mkay? They cause you to kill your imaginary friend and then demand the death penalty… Or at least that’s what they did for this Florida man.
Geoff Gaylord walked into a Jacksonville Sheriff’s Office and confessed to his crime: he had repeatedly stabbed his friend “Mr. Happy” with a kitchen knife, cut up Mr. Happy with a hatchet, and buried him in his backyard.
Gaylord and Mr. Happy were friends for seven years but, according to Gaylord, he had a number of reasons to kill his former BFF (May he R.I.P)
“He left his empty vodka bottles all over the kitchen… never picked up his empty cocaine baggies…He messed up my apartment to the point where I just couldn’t get it clean…Before Hap started doing drugs and acting weird he was my BFF…We’d go dancing, play on the children’s park equipment, both huge fans of doom metal – listened to it for hours with the lights turned off.”
When Mr. Happy crashed Gaylord’s car, and Gaylord got arrested instead, Gaylord decided that this was the last straw.
“That drunk driving incident I got unfairly blamed for and just how messy he had become put me over the edge and I murdered him.”
Gaylord was eventually taken into custody when he threatened police for not giving him the death penalty. Police found drug paraphernalia and a machine gun in Gaylord’s house, and was booked on multiple charges.